yet another realisation....thus a new post!

true love is total acceptance...

my dad was to come at 4 in the morning...he was to land at the new airport for the first time i his life..( not like a big achievement or something) and so i thought i should go...to see the airport for i cant bear the way my parents talk about architecture....i alone have that right!
we left home as early as 1.30 in the night...which was a way too early... we reached there in half an hour and that means it was just 2 ! i was so annoyed as nobody had heard me wen i said that we shud relax and sleep for an extra hour. but then i had no choice for i am used to behaving well in public ( rather , nobody bothered what i felt) they were in love with the airport. well i liked it too...the whole idea of being able to see the aircrafts fly and land is amazing.
now the key factor was to spend two full hours. as i said i hate it wen my family discusses architecture..so i wasnt being entertained by them for they were ready to explain how the airport functions!( as if i dont know) so i wanted to find a way out of the gyaan daan! i tried walking on the streets for a while... i could see cars going up and down ... great cars i must say! dint like the idea of walking at 2.30 in the morning...then there was this coffe day where i could have spent 15 min hogging...but 2.30.... naa..
taking a few steps ahead i found myself in a bookstore.... i was skimming through the pages of a couple of bestsellers....in a while i was hidden between the shelves..i made space to strech my legs....and then it all happened...the book in my hand was "chicken soup for the mothers soul"
i had read the teachers soul earlier...so i thought i should actually read the mothers soul...
there was this story which touched my heart as it never did before so i take the pleasure to mention it!
its a story of two friends Mary and eliza in their late 30's each having a retarded child
Mary, saves all the money to make a trip to the holy river where she could actually wash her child to make him normal! the chances of this belief getting true though very slim...the mother makes all the effort to take her child along...and makes sure the other kids are taken care of... she leaves for the piligrim and back she comes.... she meets her friend eliza and gives her a bottle of the holy water... eliza so wants her child to be like others too....and out of all the curiosity asks...did ur son?
Mary very slowly said ..... i dint take him to the waters.. i couldnt..... i love my child as he is.....god has sent him this way .... and i love him the way he is...
i am touched!

the rainy day....the happy day...

oh my god..its late... y do i get late daily yaar....6-10 already...maa.....some how managed to change into a decent dress and make my way for the sunday kriya..... i ran down with 30 bucks in hand....mom kept saying...take ur umbrella...n i was like..chill mom..i'll be fine..
the streets were wet...i could here the drizzle...as i took a few steps...i realised it was more than a drizzle...i saw a lady walking and her child hiding his face in her pallu..it was so cute..
and then i had to cross the galli which was so full of water.... and a shop was already open ...that was so unusual..... i took a few more steps...it was raining and it was beautiful...my desire to be in mumbai was no more as the rains made me feel i was there already....i felt like saying to myself...
mumbai was....hyderabad is....
and then i wanted an auto to take me to my destination...but none i could see....
the streets were not as empty as i thought could be...they were pretty busy.....
an auto i wanted which still dint come my way... i kept walking till i reached the cross road.....
finally i was blessed and i rushed straight to the kriya hall...
then it was all bliss....
on my way bak....i dint want an auto .... i wanted to walk home..i wanted to be drenched...to be wet like i had never been... i wanted to splash the water all over me and the rest....i wanted the vehichles to splash it higher.... i wanted to say barso re megha megha...barso re megha barso...
i wanted to smile at every stranger .... i wanted to say aloud..... keep raining for ever and ever..
it makes me happy... and then i saw a dog run by my way which was wildly coloured by the wildest of all animals( human) ...poor thing...but wen it rained ...i felt it was natures way of playing wid me...i felt as if it was raining only for me...as if it was all to quench my thirst.....
and i acknowledge it completely....thanku for raining ......and i ask for more and more...let it rain till i want the tears to flow...let it rain till i want the moments to melt.....let it rain till i want to let go...let it rain till i want to feel the love .....let it just rain till i want to see the sunshine....

no more crap

i always end up writing some unorganised and stupid stuff and then i am like wat have i written but today i intend to make some sense....i want to remember all the good times i ever had and all the good people i ever met and good times are sometimes followed by bad experiences too...so i shall take pleasure in mentioning them too....
I was finding myself so lost wen i had no college to go...i had messed up the entire admission procedure that i had to undertake and so was very worried. it was so crucial and my love for architecture was so intense that i thought that i wud give up a year and join in next year...but then was it really my love or the ego that spoke so...no clue i have..
then suddenly dreams came true and i got into HITS college of architecture..and that happened
to be in Hyderabad. i was not so happy about it though. i made new friends but always missed the old ones. i really thought life would have been different if i was in mumbai. i missed my home which meant mom to me so much that i wud cry alone at times.. which was very unusual to me..
In mumbai i would cry infront of everybody..rarely though....
Mr. A. B. Reddy , my principal was very good to me and i am very thankful to him..
Vinay, Sruthi and Siddharth and all those lovely friends who helped even for buying a pencil .... i am very very thankful to u...u made life easier. Archana u made structures easier..i love u for everything.
Art of living ....i owe a lot to it.... i love it more and more for it is the only thing that came into my life at the right time....generally mera timing utna acha nahi hai.. i have realised offlate..
Thanku Santosh uncle, thanks priya dids....i love u both.
and then came my chulbuli deepti into the picture...she added a lot of fun to life.. we have come a long way from being allergetic to addicted.. and i have no privacy in life from then..i have said that a way too many times ....but thats true..
then came the first year exams.... believe me they were the scariest exams of my life...
then came the most thrilling thing of life....national association of students of architecture(NASA)
it was real fun.. my college crush happened..and then we went to mumbai...man it rocked ...it made me love my college more and more...
then we hosted an event...we got sponsors.... i loved every one in my college..for everybody worked so dearly for it...from getting in funds to evolving into a college magazine..it was amazing..
and then getting exams screwed royally was another sad thing...but we overcame..
so it was fun again....i went to mumbai...had some real fun....
organised a lot of aol courses...that was fun too.....i went for Phase 1......then i came bak...dint do any seva at all.....looked like i was out of the track....not true though.... its been a sem gone and a sem going...some things got resolved ...some got messed up...
in between these two sems..we did the LIK.... and that was fun too......
i appreciate....Anand, Sruthi, Phani...my co-ordinator..Maria...my new best friend...Abhishek, meghana, my u- sec Deepti, Ravi, my juniors, Lukesh, Manasi, Veena, Sruthi, my very close friend Vedika...for being a part of the team. I also apreciate the effort of Shabbir in getting the drums set...
Nasa was rocking as ever...and real cold...
hey i missed the trip to Kerala...i loved that trip...
Mr. Jayesh Ranjan i am very thankful to you for believing in everything we did.. and i really like the way u always treat us. thanku so much..
In doing all this there have been a lot of situations which i dint like and i had to let go.......Miheer , my best friend..... its been fun to be fooled by u all the time..i love wen the fone says miheer calling....
u r the only guy who can actually sit and tell me bache kaise paida hote hai...and i wud jus go away saying....miheer ur sick...but then have no choise but to agree that i actualy dint know till u told me..( thats not true ohk...he only convinces me though)
Neha .... i have always missed u....and i have taken it granted that no one can fill my place in ur life..
then archana yadav.....i miss u too....and its not as easy as u think to hop to mumbai...and wen will u understand i am dying so much to be there too...never mind i like the way u scold me...
some cute incidents in life...
Having an orkut crush...KT..i still love u ...:)
Pankaj bhaiyya sending me the ipod... thanku so much bhaiyya.......u make me feel special...
me taking navchetana shibirs....
one night wid deeps
dhanno, me and vedika..... i love u girl...
murali mama...thanks for everything..

holi hai

Me: happy holi....
Neha:happy holi...
Me: tu uth gayi...
Neha:haan...tu taiyyar hogayi....
Me: haan
Neha: acha 5 min mein neeche aaja...
me : haan theeka( very obidiently)
and then we wud play all day all noon. that was years back.
and today all i can do is sms...Happy Holi...menu teri yaad aa rahi hai....
and she replies...mujhe bhi..
is that all....
y do i feel that life is getting left behind somewhere..is it really leaving me all alone...in last 1 year things have changed so rapidly...am i overthinking?
watever..i am happy that something hasnt changed...
and thats the love the only love....

spice missing

what do i do all the time.. crib for what i am and for what i am not... and what am i doing for it ...nothing absolutely.
whats pricking me all the time..why do people have to remind me of that some1...
whats the truth? that i am tired of remembering that some1
what is that i want to do? great design...
then whats the problem? i am lazy when it is designing..
does that mean i donno how to design....may be ...may be not...
so wats the whole point...that i have to kill the lazyness..
so wats the trouble..
1. i get irritated wen i look at my mom...comfort zone u c...
2. and then i realize that i am hurting her....and then i get more irritated.
3. i dont like my hair nor my face...
so wat do i do?
then i realise i am not that bad...but i wanna be jus toooo good.is that possible..yes...then go ahead and be wat u want..wat u waiting for..

Ms Anna Vargese

I sit on a table just besides Anna Vargese in the most contrary way ....consider it all ways...She is busiest of all. I am jobless. She is dressed so smart and i am just wearing clothes. i wonder why i have no work at hand. i feel like a piece of unwanted furniture. the entire world around me is busy with work at hand and i am jobless anywhere i go theres no work. i have a sour feeling which goes through my throat to the stomach. i feel so unsure about everything on earth. so restless, so unsecure, so confused so helpless. i have no clue of wat am i searching for, and wen i just turn my head by a few degrees, it makes me sure that i am hopeless!

no strings attached

Happy Bday mam.... oh my god sameera ....how have u been ....u remember me...how can i ever forget you mam...oh.... u know i am losing hair......and my dog....and it went on...
she was my chemistry mam who had taught me for just two years and it felt we had known each other for ages. we would sit in her cozy house and she would have tea and i would jus watch her having tea. she would tell me stories of her childhood and at times guess my future. she would talk about her dog who's no more today ( thats sad) and about everything that had happened to her after we had met last. she would drop me half way home in her omni. she would treat me wid a piece of home made cake wen i had done well and make me starve all day with the guilt that i wasnt putting in any effort. she knew it perfectly well how to balance between the two. It was just out of all the reverence that i would correct papers for her staying awake all nite even wen i had vacations. i would ride my way to her house. i would love it wen she would say that u r beautiful. i loved wen she would hold knowledge sessions for which had nothing to do with academics. i felt so special that i had such an intellectual friend. i would love going to the second level of her house which was supposedly her sons room and i would sit there and study. I never felt that she was just my teacher but much more than that. It felt as if ajji had left her for me to fill in the blanks....
Then there was Mrs. Nadakarni who would teach me Marathi.... I would go at 4 and wait for uncle to come at 4.30 who would get the most delicious snacks. it was tastier for it was little. i would sit and talk to her for hours together. i would feel pampered.
And today i donno where she is?
yesterday wen i met indira aunty at the long kriya ... and the hug that she gave me .... it was so blissful.
i am not always in touch with all of them and i really donno if they ever think of me but they fill a place in my life which got empty a way too early... i miss u so much ajji...nothing ever has been so much fun after u have left. You remember the late night story sessions we would have. the food that you would cook.. today that i am doing my architecture ... i miss you more for i have no creative mind at home to help me wen i am stuck. wen i have fights with mom i donno whom to show my tears to? wen moms behind my life for some blunder that i did i donno where to hide my face. i try and relate every other aunty whose a lil elder to mom to you and then i feel as if you had just left these relations for me on earth.
Thanks for everything but i miss u more than ever today.

Holi

koi aaya kya... main paani daalu kya... it was a way back when i was in grade 5 and i lived in
f-type, sector 5,( i am mentioning bcoz i love to) . i lived on the 1st floor and the ground floor was flooded with carpentry shops. i would start playing holi one week in advance in collahoration with all my carpenter uncles and the whole world would curse me. it dint bother me at all! it would all start at 4 in the afternoon after my nap after school. i would fill a bucket of water and keep the residue of the last year holi maal ready. i would fill packets with water and throw on every ongoing person. throwing plastic had just come to a ban but i did it for i dint care.... the holi session would go on till 7 wen mom came from work and i took care that i dint actually give her a shower for the slightest doubt she would have got would have me in arabian sea. the way all the carpenters would call out my name and sign me wen to throw and wen to hide. wat an entertainment that was! today its been ages that i played holi. that is one thing that i have lost that was so very dear to me.

Its Me!

i am the one whose born to talk to eternity! there have been embarrasing situations in my life where my common friends get to know that i am their common friend ......just when they come up to each other talking of one talkative girl! and how well they agree to it! but there is lot more that i do other than talking! and thats exactly why i have so many topics to talk! isnt that a point now! from being a student of architecture to aiming to run a school of architecture there is loads and loads that i do! and u would agree that i do the wackiest of things... If there is something that i do sincerely then that is dreaming. thats a part of my routine life and i do it extraordinarily well. i can just be in any part of the world at any point of time.